It’s been a long time in the making, but I finally finished medical school! I am now technically a doctor! I add the technically because I’m not allowed to do anything about it. Despite having 3-4 times the training of a nurse practitioner or a physician’s assistant, I’m not allowed to work in health care until after residency. So while I’m excited to be done and feel proud of what I’ve accomplished, mostly what I feel is anxiety. I’ve been living off of loans so long that the credit cards are all maxed, we have no income, I haven’t had a job in 4 years, and I have to find a way to provide for my family until June when residency starts. On top of that I still don’t know for sure whether or not I’ll even get a residency spot. Not until February 6. Matching shouldn’t be a problem for me, I’m applying to the least competitive specialty in medicine and I had 2 great sub-internships where I loved the programs and they loved me. Choosing a rank order was HARD. Despite that fact, I’m still terrified that I won’t match and all the effort of the past 8 years will be for naught. I feel like I should be excited and celebrating, but I have this doubt and stress hanging over my head. I guess that’s what happens when you get off cycle. I didn’t want this to be a depressing post, especially being my first one in so long, but that’s what’s on my mind and what’s happening right now in the life of the Willfords.

I do have some good news, though: I got a job! It doesn’t pay much, but it’s in a fun environment and I’m learning new things. I’m working as a line cook at a restaurant. We serve American and Indian food. Also the restaurant is located in the middle of a ski run called Main Street at Solitude Mountain Resort. I snowboard to and from work every day. So that’s amazing. Speaking of amazing, my mom says she will help us with our rent for the next few months so that I can make payments on the credit cards and have enough to move to residency this summer. Despite all the trials I still have so much to be grateful for. My family is amazing, my mom is incredible, my in-laws are fantastic, and the next phase of my training is getting closer and closer. When all is said and done, my life is pretty great. I just need to learn more patience… again. I feel like that’s an important lesson in life. It keeps on coming up.